40!

and five days, yeeepeeee :-)

I am still wondering about how I got there in one piece ;-)

So, how are things going for me?

On the family front, there is not much change.

My father is back home, prefers in house revalidation instead of being treated as an out patient at the local hospital, and my mother seems to enter a depressive phase. There isn't much joy there, but everyone has to adapt to the new situation, and, all things being considered, my father seems to be coping quite well. He is reading, taking a keen interest in his recreative activities and even though his physical condition doesn't seem to be improving, he seems to be morally much more solid than he once was. 

My brother seems to be going fine, but I won't be seeing him nor his family for a few years. Not until my two nieces are a little bit older and easier to travel with. 

On the housing front, my place in the city is a cratered mess. And my place by the sea will soon become less practical with road works preventing access to my garage starting on Monday. I'll have to take some tough decisions here. I am currently envisioning geting a bike and a train pass for the next few months.

About work, well, things are no longer so grim as they once were. The new project manager is doing a good job, and is proving to be a very effective umbrella.

I haven't seen my best friends for a few weeks now: commuting is taking quite a toll on my time, and getting by with four hours of sleep during the week is getting tiresome. 

About dating, well, I haven't been that lucky since the beginning of the year: it seems that the curse I am under is blanketing my whole life...

Out of my last four first dates, here is what I have fished:

- "I am not really divorced." Huhuhhhhh...

- "I am not exactly of legal age." Riiiight...

- "Sorry, I haven't found a dog sitter." And the damned beast kept her nose to my crotch for almost the whole date. And it had this wonderful wet and strong wet dog smell too...

- "My husband and I are a very open minded couple, would you like to meet him too?" Nooooo...

The only good thing in this whole mess is, as usual, Miss I. It seems that we are indeed in speaking terms, and I cannot help but feel deeply for her, as usual. We both have our issues, aren't leading a balanced life to say the least, but at least we can talk and share something.

How to be a bachelor at 40?

The recipe is quite simple: always put your business first. Let nothing and nobody get between you. Derive you interests from your work. Never stop. Choose a field almost entirely devoid of members of the sex you are interested in. 

Know your priorities, intentions and motivations ; and live according to them.

Easy ;-)  

ping

Sitrep

My father has been back home since Thursday and I'll go visit him tomorrow. He has very little mobility, and my mother fears she won't be able to support him.  However, he is fully himself now, no longer confused. I do observe that his mobility is getting better. My mother, seeing him more often than me, doesn't seem to perceive these slight betterments.

It seems that Miss I and I are no longer on speaking terms. A shame really.

My home office is still a mess. The situation isn't helped by the facts that I am not often there, that there is only one key and that the concierge is now working part time so asking her to keep my keys isn't an option, not even taking my unusual working hours into account. Still, the leak(s) issue seems to be solved. 

My place by the sea hasn't been repaired since last year's leak, but I am living there now. The issue was less damaging there anyway. I can live with soiled walls and not with cratered bathroom and washroom.

The good thing is that I am living 75 miles from where I am working. It means that I am commuting daily, for a total time of a little less than three hours, or as much as seven on very bad days. And this is good news indeed. It gives me time to get out of my work, think about other things, listen to music, smoke cigars and just disconnect. The down side is that I am back to four hours nights.

Talking about work (tks PS):

"I want good data,

A data model,

But I got a project straight from hell..."

Add to that the complete technical and functional ignorance of most of my coworkers, cowboy-style solution management and casino-style contracting and you will get a better idea of the whole mess.

Innsmouth

I am cursed.

Twenty years or so ago, I rented this flat near the university. It was a small cosy affair with the bed right in the middle of the room, a desk close by and a little kitchen. One night, when I was half asleep, I heard a noise coming from above, opened my eyes to see a crack forming in the ceiling and had just the time to grab a big heavy tome (fiscal law, I think) to protect my head while the ceiling descended upon me in one big piece.

That one was just bad luck, or so I said to myself then.

Ten years or so ago, I rented an apartment a few hundreds yards from my old flat. It was an old building, not really a nice place, but I wasn't there often and there was a lot of parking space nearby, thanks to the uni, so it was fine for a time.

A strange and somewhat unpleasant smell had been lingering in my toilet and bathroom for a few weeks, but I thought nothing of it: stranger things, be it sounds or odours had already come out of the common technical space, when it was not crawling things. It so appeared that my neighbour had been sent to a nursing home for a few months and had just come back to discover that the main toilet duct, common for all tenants on this side of the building, had broken in the floor between her apartment and mine. It turned out that she had fully carpeted her place. There were four apartments above hers...

In the same apartment, I came back one day after a few months abroad to discover that my kitchen's ceiling was now on the floor. And the stove. And the sinks. And the washing machine. Then I had enough of it.

My place by the sea is a nice apartment on the seaside, with a glorious view, a lot of space and the building has been well maintained and its front was in the process of being renovated when I got it. While the front was being worked on, most people took to their winter home and the concierge suffered from a heart attack. So my apartment was left unsupervised for a few months. And a leak three floors up had the time to go to the floor below mine. Now, the hall is mushroom field, the parquet is ruined, and I am still waiting to know whether or not the heating system set in the flooded technical space is still certified.

For a few years now, I have been renting the Archi's old place. It is a nice apartment. A garage. A concierge (crucial, as she can pick up my deliveries when I am not there). Somewhat recent. Top floor.

Nothing could happen there. 

If you are ignoring the Innsmouth curse, that's it.

Now, I no longer have cold water, and they are planning to blow the (parqueted) floor to check whether or not the corrosion has spread.

I am cursed.

Hospital life

So, my dad fell on the floor on the 4th of August. He is still in revalidation now, and he is not getting better. October saw a dramatic improvement, but he has been regressing since then. He was scheduled for surgery a few days ago, and even if he seems to be better, to me at least, his doctors are seeing very little progress. I have observed that he is now able to cross his legs, even if walking is still past him. He didn't receive the surgery he was scheduled to, the post op exam happened too early, and, from what I can deduce, he seems to be treated for both his stroke and Parkinson disease. The last one was supposed to have been excluded a few years ago, but perhaps was it too early by then. I can understand that treatments can be conflicting, but I have a hard time understanding why he is not treated fully. Still, he seems to be taking it all in stride, which is reassuring. He is no longer confused, and the spinal fluid drain seems to have had some very positive effects. As long as he is reasonably well, what can I say? I would like him to start accepting visits from friends, but he doesn't want them. He has been spending months with nurses and a television for company. He no longer reads much, but he is very articulate and has, surprisingly, a lot to say. 

I do not know how to end this post. No clever remark, no clear ending, even though I would very much like this situation to come to an end and close this chapter, to be able to put this behind me, not having to worry any more. Well, it is still ongoing, so I'll leave it at that.

Role models

When your role models were, and to some extent still are, Edmund Lyons, Winston Churchill, Hugh Sinclair, Hasimir Fenring, number 6 and the omega man, your very own standards can hurt you sometimes...

long time no see

Wow, five months already...

Five full months actually. Very full. Too full.

It all started with Miss J getting a new job and me having to find a new main contract. As usual Miss I and I were going nowhere slow and had reached some kind of unsaid mutual agreement. So Miss J and I met in a hallway, one thing lead to another and before I knew it I had a drawer and her cat had me fully adopted. I knew it wasn't a good idea. And it wasn't. We may thank the Belgian politics for this one. Back to square one. 

The timing was good: I had to leave for my two weeks, and I fully expected for things to have cooled down by the time I was back. I came back with a new rank (time to find a new nick;-), and was still unpacking my bags when I learned that my father was having a stroke. 

The situation was touch and go, uncertain to say the least, and the prognosis was very bleak for a few weeks. He stayed in the ICU for two weeks, went to the neuro wing for another two, and his physical condition started to improve. Right now he is in rehabilitation and should move to outpatient physiotherapy once the house has been transformed. He is getting better, putting on weight and, physically, everything is well except for his right hand. Walking is no longer an issue, but he won't be climbing stairs soon. Mentally it is another story. He is still very confused sometimes, even though this is happening less often than it used to be. Of course, I had to somehow support my mother, not only morally, granted that she is unable to use an ATM or fill up her car. And, to top it all, I had to renew my certifications and clearances.

In the meantime, there was an inundation at my place by the sea. On the good side of things, I didn't had to look for another contract besides making two phone calls. The situation isn't completely clear on this point, but I have more than a few options available to me. 

So, what now?

• My father will be going home in the next few weeks.
• My mother is busy being herself: anxious.
• Miss J and I are still on speaking term and have found out that our respective political opinions are irreconciliable to the point of making cohabitation almost impossible.
• Miss I and I are still going nowhere. 
• I am fully certified again.
• My clearances will be renewed.
• I'll have the opportunity to meet new people and learn new things soon.

Yeah, interesting times ;-)