Day 4

I should really trust my feelings. Today, Easter Monday, I was busy reading the latest Hamilton when my pager reminded me of the 1600 movie (yes, I am a compulsive scheduler). At first I thought that it was laziness that was compelling to stay home to finish my book, so I stupidly went against it.
It was not laziness: it was premonition.

• 4 Bia

10 minutes late.
Four shorts.

Happiness

SMS dating with the dead.
Nice ambiance.
Bad final montage.

Tit for tat

Teenage dumbasses somehow manage to get harassed by something supernatural.
A well known story, well made and fun, sometimes.

In the middle

Four teenage dumbasses go rafting somewhere in the wilderness. Same as above.
Taking a leak takes a whole different meaning.
A few laughs and that's it.

Last fright

A flight attendant becomes beds the wrong man and has to fly his wife and then the wife 's body. Total high altitude w00tage. Complete with a long haired puking corpse.
Not that good.

• Grace

Psycho mom, lesbian nature freak obstetrician, a helpful cat and the undead baby meet the absent father and the scheming step mother from hell. Remind me of this again when I'll consider having children.
Kinda interesting, a few messages, but should have been kept as a short.

• No-Do

From the Franco era state-sponsored newscasts.
A woman wakes up nowadays after having spent the last 60 years or so in a coma. Which is far more interesting than what may or may not happen to the depressive paediatrician who moves in with her baby in the woman's bishop's haunted house. Unfortunately, her antics make most of the film. A weak scenario recounts your classical Spanish Catholic guilt story, dumb, long, boring, with obvious plans and bad FX. Uninteresting.

• Visions

Overly dramatic music and sound effects, bad and/or over acting, classical cut and camera work, nice lights (well, ambient really, and the Sun is rarely wrong...), obviously what is lacking here is proper direction, a better familiarity with the format and a scenario. And a plot. And some less ridiculous gimmicks. And less laughable montages. And proper casting. And dialogues, not just clichés. But there are quite a few good gratuitous FX (as well as many bad ones that may have had some purpose) and funny moments, happenstances I presume.
It is so consistently ridiculous, it so valiantly plods through its own ineptitude that it becomes laughable. And the end montage only brings the thing to a whole new level of miserable inanity.
Suspension of disbelief occurs when you have to acknowledge the painfully real fact that someone actually wrote that thing, someone else produced it, still someone else directed it, and that you are actually watching it. Sometimes, reality can be painful without having the good grace of being enjoyable or even meaningful.

• I'll never die alone

Argentina must be a country somewhere between Tasmania and Switzerland where everyone acts like in Stoic.
Talking about stoicism, it takes some to watch this till the end. Let's cut it short: beyond the gratuitous violence, the inane filming, this movie may be safely said as being devoid of any quality whatsoever. Feeling very generous, one might say the scenery is nice, kind of, the first five minutes of it, then, after half an hour...
It may have reached legendary status if only it had more longer static plans on some innocent dumb objects. Like the scene when a girl is changing clothes in a restroom, well, it may have been improved by a few minutes of closeup on a dirty piece of used soap, or an empty roll of toilet paper, hanging alone, depressed, on a shitty wall where even flies refuse to land. It may have added some emotion.