Last evening, I was supposed to finish a paper, then guess who came by.
Miss S. and I are going back a long way, in more than one way, so to speak. We meet once in blue moon, and keep loosely in touch ; it usually goes like "Ping, hello, still alive?", followed by "Pong, elho too.". These days we usually keep it at that once or twice a year except for the even rarer email detailing some issue, in the hope that the other may have some kind of advice or help to offer. We have an open door policy, but none of us has taken advantage of it for years. Since last March that is, when I found myself crashing at her door at 0500, sailing three sails to the wind, and still "smelling of another you obviously cannot remember", as she so elegantly (and indulgently) put it. This brilliant situation having arisen from my ongoing pickle with someone else. Anyway, it is complicated. The point is that I would have met her gladly, and, given the current inglorious situation, I just had to.I am still unsure of what her purpose might have been, perhaps was it simple kindness, checking up on me, payback, revenge, or just that she had to make a point, I honestly do not know. Or perhaps I do. Anyway, what she said strangely echoed and expanded on what my current beloved pickle told me earlier that day.
Here are a few pieces of what went flying to my face:
Miss S. and I are going back a long way, in more than one way, so to speak. We meet once in blue moon, and keep loosely in touch ; it usually goes like "Ping, hello, still alive?", followed by "Pong, elho too.". These days we usually keep it at that once or twice a year except for the even rarer email detailing some issue, in the hope that the other may have some kind of advice or help to offer. We have an open door policy, but none of us has taken advantage of it for years. Since last March that is, when I found myself crashing at her door at 0500, sailing three sails to the wind, and still "smelling of another you obviously cannot remember", as she so elegantly (and indulgently) put it. This brilliant situation having arisen from my ongoing pickle with someone else. Anyway, it is complicated. The point is that I would have met her gladly, and, given the current inglorious situation, I just had to.I am still unsure of what her purpose might have been, perhaps was it simple kindness, checking up on me, payback, revenge, or just that she had to make a point, I honestly do not know. Or perhaps I do. Anyway, what she said strangely echoed and expanded on what my current beloved pickle told me earlier that day.
Here are a few pieces of what went flying to my face:
- "You and I are more interested in what is being done than in who is doing it. This is why we went along so well and drifted apart so easily."
- "We are more interested in caring instead of being cared of. In fact, I resent being cared of, it makes me feel dependant and victimized. It makes you feel worthless. I wonder which is best actually."
- "People like us do not communicate instinctively about fundamentals. You just assume too much, no wonder the impression you end up leaving is of someone insensitive, arrogant and demanding. Well, you certainly do the cold part quite well."
Or perhaps was it just to say that she has recently found her own pickle? I guess I wasn't that helpful then, but as she said: "You do not grow by asking your mirror image, but it helps seeing what may be off. If you can see it;-)".
Anyway, it has been a nice evening. And while it doesn't help you to know that someone is facing the same issues as you, it is, in a way, reassuring.
There is still hope in Aspergerland, after all ;-)
Anyway, it has been a nice evening. And while it doesn't help you to know that someone is facing the same issues as you, it is, in a way, reassuring.
There is still hope in Aspergerland, after all ;-)
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